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[EP86] What're you doing here?

[EP86] What're you doing here?

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Selan, Lady Ira

(The scene is our villains’ house. It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve seen them last. Selan is rummaging through the kitchen. Xeno comes out of his room.)

Hey, Selan.

Selan: Hey, you’re out of your room! Man, you look like hell.

Xeno (ignoring that): Where’s Selanio?

Selan (looking through a cabinet labeled “SELANIO’S FOOD”): He went out.

Xeno: When’ll he come back?

Selan: Dunno.


Selan: Why?

Xeno: I don’t know. I was fiddling with my tarot cards, they seemed to think you should go talk to him.

Selan (eating some cookies that are clearly not hers to eat): Hm? Whyzzat?

Xeno: Beats me.

Selan: Hmm… (She thinks, munching on the cookies) Oh! Ohhh. Selan gets it.

Xeno: Yeah?

Selan: Today is a bad day. Can you drive me to the cemetery?

Xeno: Uh… sure.

(Selan shoves the cookie bag back into the cabinet, goes to put her shoes on, and the two leave. Not long after, they’re at the cemetery. They find Selanio sitting in front of a pair of graves.)

Xeno, could you stay here? I’ll go talk to him myself.

Xeno: Alright.

(Selan walks over to Selanio and sits down next to him)

What’re you doing here?

Selan: I should ask you the same thing.

Selanio: You know perfectly well why.

Selan: I thought you didn’t like to acknowledge unpleasant anniversaries.

Selanio (bitterly): It’s a bit hard to forget the day your parents died.

Selan: Selanio…

Selanio (groaning): Ugh. Selanio was watching TV, and there was this scene with some kid’s parents dying in a crash, and—

Selan: It reminded you, huh?

Selanio: Stupid TV.

Selan: … so. Do you talk to them?

Selanio: A little. Selanio is never sure what to say. I doubt they can even hear me anyway.

Selan: Sure they can! Have you told them about me?

Selanio: Pfft. Why would I?

Selan: Because I’m awesome! (She nudges Selanio, then looks to the tombstones) Hey, Selanio-parents! I’m Selan, I’m the person who makes sure your son doesn’t get into trouble.

Selanio: Hey, don’t tell them that!

Selan: Why? It’s true. =3

Selanio: Is not.

Selan: Fine, then you introduce me.

Selanio: I will! Papa i Mat’, this is Selan. She’s a loser. u_u

Selan: Hey!

Selanio (laughing): Selanio speaks only truth!

Selan (shoving Selanio): Jeeez!

(Selanio laughs some more, pauses, looks at Selan, then looks away)

Hey, uh… Selan. Loser though you may be, thanks for always being there.

Selan: Of course I’m always there. I have to follow you around to make sure you’re not plotting to kill me. u_u

Selanio: Well, yeah, obviously. But I mean… ugh… look, there was this one time, back when you were tutoring me… I was feeling really shitty that day, filling out paperwork to get my inheritance and dealing with stupid fucking cards from acquaintances and… and then I went to your place and instead of you yelling at me for using a wrong preposition or something you put on a movie and told me my lesson was to listen to the dialogue.

Selan: Hmm. Was that that one movie with the explosions?

Selanio: It really cheered me up.

Selan: Well, you’d been snippy all week so I figured something was wrong.

Selanio: I’m trying to thank you, here.

Selan: Oh. Uh. Seriously?

Selanio: Yes. So stop dragging it out. >_O

Selan: But—but I have to drag it out, you never thank me for anything!

Selanio: I’d thank you for shutting up.

Selan: Oh, but I never do that. =D

Selanio: Unfortunately. -_-;

Selan: Well, thanks for saying thanks, I guess? I’m always here if you need me, man. We’re homies, after all.

Selanio: Yeah. But, you know, don’t think you can count on me for anything. u_u I’m still plotting your demise.

Selan: Aw, you loser.

Selanio: Anyway, I’m hungry. Let’s go get some food and forget about all this serious talk.

Selan: Okay. Xeno can come too, right? (She points to Xeno, who’s still standing next to his car)

Wh—he’s been here the whole time?

Selan: Yeah. Who do you think drove me here?

Selanio: I thought you took the bus!

Selan: Hah, yeah right.

Selanio: Ugh… whatever. You’re driving with me, though.

Selan: Eehhh?! But—but—but—

Selanio (looming over her): But I’m just such a good driver, da? >D

Selan: Uhh… y-yeah… yeah. Lemmie just, uh, tell Xeno we’re going.

(Selan scurries off to where Xeno is.)

Hey, we’re—

Xeno: Getting food, I heard.

Selan (blushing a bit): Oh. Uh. You heard all of that, huh?

Xeno: Yeah.

Selan: Well, Selanio’s feeling better now I think. Thanks for bringing me here.

Xeno: You two are really close, aren’t you?

Selan: Well, of course! All three of us are close, Xeno. We’re bestest buddies!

(Xeno pauses. That isn’t really what he meant, but the thought of Selan and Selanio being… close… makes Xeno just a bit uneasy, so he decides not to press the subject.)

Yeah. Bestest buddies.

Selan: So we’re gonna drive somewhere. You follow us, okay?

Xeno: Sure.

(Selan runs back to Selanio, and the two walk off to find Selanio’s car. Xeno sighs, getting back into the driver’s seat.)

It’s all in your head, man. Those two aren’t… aren’t… ugh, I can’t even say it, it’s so wrong! ><

(He starts up the car and, seeing Selanio’s car leaving the place, follows it. They leave, looking for a good place for lunch.)

--End: Episode eighty-six
  • So wrong... OR SO RIGHT?

    They are kinda adorable together. Which is the point. Duh.
  • FINALLY the psychic gets something along the lines of a clue...

    Selan: Of course I’m always there. I have to follow you around to make sure you’re not plotting to kill me. u_u

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